"Pardon Me..."

Trying to get assistance in France 

Me: "Excuse me, do you speak English?"
Frenchman:  "BONJOUR!"
Me:  "Sorry.......Bonjour!" "Do you speak English?" 
Frenchman: "No!" and looks away.
Me: (I smile)  "hmmmmm...." and I walk away

Next situation:

Me:  "Pardon me, do you speak English?"
French lady: "BONJOUR!" and looks at me with scary, piercing eyes.
Me: damn it!  I can't seem to remember that!  "Sorry...Bonjour!"  "Do you speak English"
French lady: (In English) "None at all" and continues to look at me with those scary eyes.
Me:  I walk away.....slowly, making no sudden movements. 

Next situation:

Me: "Par.....wait!.....Bonjour!  Pardon me, Do you speak English? (Whew! I almost forgot) 
French Sales Lady:  "Bonsoir!" and looks at me like I'm an idiot who can't tell if it's Day or Evening.


Damn, Damn!  Ok, next time I'll get it right.

It took me a while to get it...here are a few of the unwritten rules

1. Always greet with a Bonjour or Bonsoir BEFORE any other words come out of your mouth
2. Mainly in Paris, they don't like to hear your broken, crummy French so it's not worth bothering with it and just apologize in advance.  They will pretend to not understand you, even though it is good enough to get the point across.
3. The French do not really see a need to learn English but they surely want you to learn French.  I did my best. 
4. They can tell that you are not French just by the way you dress (how you tie your scarf!), walk, body language, etc.  They already have a plan on how they are going to treat you before you even open your mouth.  Just smile and make the U.S.A proud!